Tradition

One of my favorite family traditions started when I was about 14-years old. My mother was always very diligent about making sure that my siblings and I were respectful of other religions and diversity. Although we were predominantly LDS growing up, she thought that it was important for us to respect others no matter what their religion was. She made it clear that it was important to have spirituality in our lives, but that that didn't necessarily have to fit a mold. As part of this teaching, she would take us to all different kinds of churches every couple of months or so.

One year, on New Years Eve she took us to the Unitarian church for a ceremony. We had been to the Unitarian church before for Sunday service and I enjoyed the band on stage and the congregation holding hands and singing together. On this night, there wasn't a traditional church ceremony going on - this was a special ceremony that only happened on New Year's Eve. Even though I was a teenager I was excited to be experiencing something new and fun with my family.

The people running the ceremony passed out four items: a tissue paper, a pen, a paper and an envelope. They then asked everyone to write down the things they wanted to get rid if from the previous year - what were the things burdening you, bringing you down, preventing you from moving in a forward progression in your life?We all proceeded to write things in the 3x4 inch piece of paper. I wrote things like - "sadness," "negativity," "fear," etc. They then asked us asked us to walk to the front of the room and burn the piece of paper in a large bowl called "The Burning Bowl."

When I walked up to the font of the room there was a large bowl with fire inside of it. I dropped by piece of paper, watched it disintegrate. I suddenly felt a burden release from my shoulders. All of the things I wanted to get rid of from the past year were now in the past. I could let go of them and move on to more positive things. As we walked back to our seats we listened to what was next in the agenda for the ceremony. We were asked to write a letter to God outlining what we wanted to happen for ourselves and those close to us in the coming year on the sheet of paper they gave us. It was basically an opportunity for us to sit back and really focus on what goals we'd like to set for ourselves in the next year. I wrote and wrote and wrote until type page was full on the front and back side.

They then asked us to seal the envelope and give it to them so they cloud pray on it for the next year. At the end of each year, they mail you back the letter so that you caned it on New Year's Eve and see what you have accomplished that year. It's amazing to see what can be accomplished if you just put it out there in the universe. I didn't do the ceremony the next year, or even the year after but a couple years ago I decided to put together a "Burning Bowl" ceremony at my house for my friends and family. It's not as formal or official, but it still helps us release our burdens from the year before and set new goals for the year ahead. It's become a pretty important and meaningful tradition for me and I am grateful to my mother for introducing such a positive experience my life.

Anchors or Motors? Your choice : )

I’ve been lucky to have a lot of friends in this lifetime. Some of my friendships have remained intact throughout my lifetime, some have fallen by the way-side, and some are more casual friendships where we only chat a couple of times a year. With the new year coming, it’s got me to thinking about all the friendships and relationships that I’ve had in my life. I truly do value all of the friendships and relationships that I’ve had because they’ve all taught me something new about people, life, love, etc. etc. The new year also got me thinking about those relationships that have fallen by the way-side and why that’s happened.

There’s a quote that I have posted on my computer monitor at work -

"There are two types of people--anchors and motors. You want to lose the anchors and get with the motors because the motors are going somewhere and they're having more fun. The anchors will just drag you down." ~ Wyland Quotes

and as much as I’d say I like to live by it… it truly is hard to let go of those anchors, energy vampires or toxic relationships in your life. Everyone has encountered a toxic person in their life – whether it’s a friend, co-worker, or family member that can’t ever stand to say a positive thing about life, that is always taking advantage of others, or is generally abusive to themselves or others over and over again… everyone knows that person and wonders if they will change. I’ve always been the type of person to hope for change, but the reality is…. Some people just won’t change. If they do – great for them! But how long can we all wait around for that to happen?

“Better to lose the anchor than the whole ship.” ~ Dutch Proverb

The older I get, the more I start prioritizing where to give out my energy… I think of my mental, physical, spiritual and emotional self as a ship as the quote mentions above. Many of the times that I have felt the most down in life are because of anchors in my life (whether it’s a person or a negative thought) and the older I get, the more I realize that I have no choice… I HAVE to let these things go out of my life…especially now that I am bringing a new little baby into this world.

It’s funny how the world works too, because just in time for the new year, my forecast on astro.com sent me the following message about reevaluating my relationships…

“This influence signifies a time of severe testing in your relationships with others. The demands of your life will force you to reevaluate which relationships in your life are worth keeping and which are not. If you do not face this challenge consciously, the pressure of events will force you to do so, because people who have been with you for a long time will leave against your wishes. This may represent a temporary state of affairs or a passing mood. Or it may represent a serious breakdown in your relationships because of misplaced priorities in the past or because of associating with people who were wrong for you in terms of your personal goals and needs. The problem is that in terms of your direction in life, the people you associate with are a distraction or are actually opposed to your interests. In this case, no matter how much you love them, walls will form between you and them, and you will have to begin a new life without them. With this influence several significant relationships will inevitably end. But if you have a clear idea of where you are going, this will not be a great disadvantage. Whatever remorse you feel will be quickly displaced by a new sense of freedom, because you are no longer wasting energy in trying to maintain inappropriate relationships.”

Very interesting – eh?

Whether you decide to get rid of the anchors and stick with the motors in 2012, or not, I hope you have an amazing new year and hope that I can be a positive “motor” in your life in 2012. Love to you all!

This blogpost was inspired by this great blog http://montyrainey.wordpress.com/2011/12/12/anchors-away/ – thank goodness for good bloggers!