Vulnerability, Daring Greatly

I've been watching a lot of Super Soul Sunday lately on the OWN network. For those that know me - you know I'm a big fan Oprah. It's been nice to have such a great show to watch on Sunday's... It's thought provoking, spiritual, uplifting, etc. I highly recommend you all check it out. You can watch the show on Oprah.com too of you don't have cable or satellite. She had an author on her show today called Brene Brown who wrote the book "Daring Greatly" and she has received over 8 million view on TED with her lecture about vulnerability.

The book starts out with this quote that I love:
“It is not the critic who counts, nor the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; Who, at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement; and who, at the worst, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”
President Theodore Roosevelt
Speech at the Sorbonne
April 23, 1910

I think vulnerability is a very interesting topic. As Brown says, most people are raised that vulnerability is a weakness, but it's so important to ask for what you need and have those hard conversations. Take the risk of being vulnerable and being yourself. You are beautiful! Show the world your beauty. Let people in. "You can't get to courage without walking through vulnerability. It [vulnerability] is the key to having meaningful relationships and intimacy," said Brown.

Brown also talked about how our culture lives in fear more than ever, and because of this - we are all less vulnerable and don't enjoy "joy" as much as we should. "The number one casualty of a scarcity culture is vulnerability. Get rid of fear. Be open [and vulnerable] enough to take the risk to fail. Let go of what people think."

By doing this and practicing gratitude she said we will all experience joy more deeply. "Don't forebode joy. Push harder into those moments of joy. Be vulnerable enough to enjoy joy. Practice gratitude." She said we cannot experience joy without gratitude and that a way to battle fear is by practicing gratitude. For example, if you are scared your plane will crash, just start being grateful about the fact that you have enough money to be in that plane and going where you are going in the first place.

I really enjoyed the discussion and can't wait to read "Daring Greatly"!

My love affair with art.

I've always been really interested in art since I was a child. It may be that my mother was an artist, or that she encouraged me to participate in imaginative and artsy projects on a frequent basis growing up. I decided to take an art history class in high school because I wanted to learn more about art and because I wanted to get some college credit. It just so happened that one of my best friends ended up in the same class with me.

Mid way through the year our teacher announced that we were taking a trip to San Francisco as a class. I was so excited because I had heard that San Francisco was a really fun place and I think I had even been there once before as a child. I was also excited because we were going to a place that exuded art from every crevice. My friend Kristen and I decided to room together and had a blast goofing off, dancing, and tumbling around the hotel room. We were two 17 year old girls on one of our first trips away from home.

Our first day in San Francisco, I will never forget, we saw the exact replica of the gold Ghiberti doors with 3-D carved biblical scenes across them. I vowed to myself that I would see the original Ghiberti doors in my lifetime. We walked through the doors into a cathedral with beautiful stained glass and analyzed the Byzantine style art.

Later that day after getting hot clam chowder at Fisherman's Warf and "people watching" we went to the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art (MOMA). I will never forget the moment I saw my friend Kristin balling in front of the Rothko #14 Blue & Red piece called "1960" because it moved her so much or the feeling I felt when I saw Frida Kahlo's Self Portraits.

That trip made me solidify a life long love of art and sure enough, in 2011 my husband and I saw the original Ghiberti doors in Florence, Italy. I am also going to be a bridesmaid in Kristin's wedding in May of 2013.

Here is what the Rothko #14 looks like:

Pearl of China Book Review

Pearl of China by Anchee Min

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


It is rare that any of us find a friendship at a young age that lasts a lifetime let alone finding a friend at any age and having that friendship last a lifetime. The friendship that Pearl and Willow shared hit me deep in my core and I am so happy that I got to experience their stories by reading this book. Whether it was love for China, love for each other or love for their faith... This book showed what true love is all about - the characters truly "had known the fullness of love, which was absolute in height and depth." Many of the characters, even though they experienced much hardship, really did feel love on a different level then most people feel. It goes to show - you don't have to be rich or from some elite demographic to experience life's true beauty. In fact, if any of the characters in the book were rich a a young age, you wonder if they would have had such an amazing story to tell.

Isn't it also so true that we learn something new from each person we meet each day? I loved what Willow said about Hsu Chih-mo after he passed, "The most important lesson he taught me was that there was no one singular perspective on things or emotions in the universe-no one way of comprehending the truth." I thought this was such an important quote in this book because there were so many people who were so stuck in believing in their own individual truths at times, but when they truly evolved was when they embraced others truths and let go of their own to learn and become things they never thought possible. For example - if Willow's papa had never joined Absalom in helping with his church and becoming a Christian/Buddhist he would have continued to live a peasant lifestyle and wouldn't have fulfilled his true destiny. I think it is so important to be open to life and things its trying to teach us on a daily basis. How can one learn when being rigid in ones thoughts and beliefs?

There were so many things that happened in this book that made me believe that almost anyone can overcome any obstacle - whether through hard work or through spiritual means. And honestly, it did give me a renewed belief in my faith. I loved the part in the book where the "dead" trees that had been used to build the new church blossomed inside the church - "the green miracle" ha! "With the breeze from the window, the leaves swayed like dancers' sleeves across the room."

I loved so much about this book that it's hard to summarize my thoughts without writing a novel myself. I really enjoyed the poetry that was added within the pages as well - this was my favorite poem from the book-

I lived by the Yangtze River near it's source,
While you reside farther down its course.
You and I drink water from the same stream,
I haven't seen you though daily of you I dream.

When will this river water cease to run?
When shall I not love you, the way I do?
I only wish our two hearts would beat as one,
And you wouldn't disappoint me in my love for you.




View all my reviews

Tradition

One of my favorite family traditions started when I was about 14-years old. My mother was always very diligent about making sure that my siblings and I were respectful of other religions and diversity. Although we were predominantly LDS growing up, she thought that it was important for us to respect others no matter what their religion was. She made it clear that it was important to have spirituality in our lives, but that that didn't necessarily have to fit a mold. As part of this teaching, she would take us to all different kinds of churches every couple of months or so.

One year, on New Years Eve she took us to the Unitarian church for a ceremony. We had been to the Unitarian church before for Sunday service and I enjoyed the band on stage and the congregation holding hands and singing together. On this night, there wasn't a traditional church ceremony going on - this was a special ceremony that only happened on New Year's Eve. Even though I was a teenager I was excited to be experiencing something new and fun with my family.

The people running the ceremony passed out four items: a tissue paper, a pen, a paper and an envelope. They then asked everyone to write down the things they wanted to get rid if from the previous year - what were the things burdening you, bringing you down, preventing you from moving in a forward progression in your life?We all proceeded to write things in the 3x4 inch piece of paper. I wrote things like - "sadness," "negativity," "fear," etc. They then asked us asked us to walk to the front of the room and burn the piece of paper in a large bowl called "The Burning Bowl."

When I walked up to the font of the room there was a large bowl with fire inside of it. I dropped by piece of paper, watched it disintegrate. I suddenly felt a burden release from my shoulders. All of the things I wanted to get rid of from the past year were now in the past. I could let go of them and move on to more positive things. As we walked back to our seats we listened to what was next in the agenda for the ceremony. We were asked to write a letter to God outlining what we wanted to happen for ourselves and those close to us in the coming year on the sheet of paper they gave us. It was basically an opportunity for us to sit back and really focus on what goals we'd like to set for ourselves in the next year. I wrote and wrote and wrote until type page was full on the front and back side.

They then asked us to seal the envelope and give it to them so they cloud pray on it for the next year. At the end of each year, they mail you back the letter so that you caned it on New Year's Eve and see what you have accomplished that year. It's amazing to see what can be accomplished if you just put it out there in the universe. I didn't do the ceremony the next year, or even the year after but a couple years ago I decided to put together a "Burning Bowl" ceremony at my house for my friends and family. It's not as formal or official, but it still helps us release our burdens from the year before and set new goals for the year ahead. It's become a pretty important and meaningful tradition for me and I am grateful to my mother for introducing such a positive experience my life.

Happy Holidays!

Happy holidays! We are so blessed to have welcomed our new little boy S.J. (Scott August Chase) into the world this year. He has brought so much joy and love into our lives. We hope you all experience that same feeling of joy and love this holiday season and all year long.

Love,

The Chase Family

The Art of Racing in the Rain Book Review

The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


This book was good for so many reasons. I am a dog lover, so it was great hearing a story from the perspective of a dog. When you think about it, dogs do seem more enlightened then most humans anyway (probably because they can't talk and they have to listen so much) - so it makes sense to right a book from their perspective.

"Learn to listen! I beg of you. Pretend you are a dog like me and listen to other people rather than steal their stories."

This book definitely made me look at my own dog differently. Dogs are a lot smarter than we think they are and we can learn a lot from them. Along with the listening thing, they are extremely loyal  and they live in the moment (which I know I could learn a thing or two about).

"People are always worried about what's happening next. They often find it difficult to stand still, to occupy the now without worrying about the future. People are not generally satisfied with what they have; they are very concerned with what they are going to have."

Some of the people in my book club refused to read the book because they heard it was sad. The book was sad, but life can be sad... and there were so many great moments in the book that weren't sad. In fact, I think one of the points of this book was to help people understand that life can be sad and death is a part of life - so why not embrace it? If you believe in reincarnation like Enzo did - Death seems less scary.

"To live every day as if it had been stolen from death, that is how I would like to live. To feel the joy of life. To separate oneself form the burden, the angst, the anguish that we all encounter every day. To say that I am alive, I am wonderful, I am, I am. That is something to aspire to."

I really loved the relationship between Enzo and his owner - how they helped each other escape fear. I loved all of the things they taught each other. It made me realize that it's so important to be open to learning things about yourself from places you don't expect - whether it's your dog, a friend, a family member, a co-worker, myself, etc. Learning's come from all directions at all times - you just have to learn to listen to find and learn from them.

"Such a simple concept, yet so true: that which we manifest is before us; we are the creators of our own destiny. Be it through intention or ignorance, our success and our failures have been brought on by none other than ourselves."

The parallels between racing and life were very interesting as well. I never realized that racing was such a mental game. I've had a lot of friends give up in life and some that have actually ended their lives because they felt that they couldn't go on, but I think it's so important to remember that we are here on this earth for a reason - to grown and learn and defeat trials. It's not always easy, but it's so important to continue fighting through this life so that we can find our true purpose as Denny did.

"There is no dishonor in losing the race. There is only dishonor in not racing because you are afraid to lose."

"A winner, a champion, will accept his fate. He will continue with his wheels in the dirt. He will do his best to maintain his line and gradually get himself back on the track when it is safe to do so. Yes, he loses a few places in the race. Yes, he is at a disadvantage. But he is still racing. He is still alive."

So many great quotes in "The Art of Racing in the Rain". Such a great book!



View all my reviews

Ryan Darton, "I Am A Moth."

I’ve been lucky to have many friends in my life who have become amazing musicians. Some of them have become famous, some of them play live shows at local bars/venues and some of them just continue to make music because that’s what makes them happy (regardless of if they’ve become famous or not). I’ve always enjoyed watching them grow and change.

I’ve been watching my friend Ryan Darton grow and change for over 10 years… I remember the good ol’ days when I used to watch his band Underlie play in high school. All of our friends wore our “Underlie” T-shirts with pride. Ryan has definitely grown a lot since then. His voice and music has matured so much throughout the years and it’s such a good feeling to watch friends grow, change and excel throughout life. I highly recommend you check out his new album – “I Am A Moth.”

If you are like me you are always chasing the sound of the Garden State soundtrack in one way or another.  “I Am A Moth” definitely has a Garden State feel to it. It’s got a great mix of rock and acoustic guitar and you can tell that Ryan has been influenced by many great bands such as Jimmy Eat World, Pinback, Jason Mraz, Daphne Loves Derby, Panic at the Disco, etc.

The album is mellow, romantic, thoughtful, poetic, upbeat and has great lyrics. Each song is so eclectic and the vibe changes from one song to the next so it keeps you on your toes.

The beginning of the album starts out with poetic lyrics and melodies with the song “Summer and Snow” and then moves into a Panic at the Disco like song with a great harmony called “Sing To Me Baby” that makes you want to tap your toes and get up and dance.  

“Uptight” is my favorite song on the album. It has great lyrics, great drums and a great melody - “I’m gonna fix this hole and make it new… I’m gonna catch this bird and make him sing and only sing for me.”

Another song with great, romantic lyrics is “You are Mine” - “Hold me close until we turn to wine. Let our lips touch til’ their like the sun. Fate has brought us here and I’ve never been so in love…It’s your touch that keeps my fears away…”

Overall, the album is an extremely thoughtful compilation of poetry, romance and great music. I highly recommend you check it out.

Millions of peaches.

Made fresh home-made, sugar-free peach cinnamon jam tonight. #yum #fallcooking #canning #jam #peaches #millionsofpeaches #cooking #homemade #sugarfreecooking #photooftheday

Here's the recipe I used:
Sugar-Free Jam with Stevia

1 3/4 ounce packet no-sugar-needed pectin
3/4 -1 cup cold water
2 1/2-3 cups of prepared fruit - fresh or frozen (raspberries, strawberries,
blueberries, apples/applesauce, bananas, peaches, pears, etc.)
1/2 Tbsp. Steviva stevia (if you use a different brand, you'll have to use
more because it will be cut with maltodextrin)
Spices according to taste: Cinammon, Ground Cloves, Ground Ginger, Nutmeg,
Cardamom, Vanilla Extract (in banana jam) or Almond Extract (great in peach
jam)

1. Peel, chop or mash fruit according to desired consistency (preferably
with a food processor, or by hand).

2. In small saucepan, combine pectin and water. Over medium heat, bring to
a boil and boil for 1 minute, stirring constantly. Add to mashed fruit and
stir for 1 minute. Add Stevia and spices and stir for 2 more minutes.

3. Fill jars to 1/2 inch from the top. Seal and let stand until they reach
room temperature. Refrigerate until chilled, or place jam in freezer. Or can.

Source: http://www.indiadivine.org/audarya/vegetarian-forum/1289628-sugar-free-jam-stevia.html

Baby Shower Home-Made Card & Baby Shower Game

My sister Emily and I have been making home-made cards for years. It's one of our favorite hobbies and it's great for sister time. 


I made these baby shower invitations for my friend Kierra's baby shower. I love how the butterflies are 3-D. You can get the butterfly punch stamp and supplies from Stampin' Up.

We also played this game - it was really fun! 


Use this list of candy bars that pertain to pregnancy. Bring out the candy bars on a platter and have everyone guess which words pertain to the candy bar names. The person with the most words that pertain correctly to the candy bars wins a prize. 

2-Month’s Old, My Sweet SJ

I know I am a month late since SJ is almost 3 months old, but I wrote this about a month ago for him. 


2-Month’s Old

Little toes…
Stretching,
Kicking,
Growing…
Craving mama’s warmth.
Daddy’s exact replica.

Wiggly hands…
Learning,
Touching,
Squirming,
Searching curiously.
Smothered by mama’s kisses.

Sweet face…
Watching,
Understanding,
Cooing,
Beautiful blue eyes.
Can’t wait to see that dimple grin.

What a blessing to have a two month old
Cuddling,
  Laughing,
        Growing,
                baby boy.

The Book Thief - Book Review

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The final line by the narrator of The Book Thief definitely sums it up - "I am haunted by humans." This book is a good reminder that, as humans, we all definitely have flaws in our judgement and in the time this book was written about - the human race was definitely going through a challenging time and having flawed judgement. It reminds us that we must not judge each other so harshly... that we must love each other for our differences... that we must not follow others without educating ourselves... that we must stand up for what's right... that we must remember that diversity is okay - we all don't have to be carbon copies of each other. Remember - that's what Hitler wanted!

This is not like most books about the Holocaust... it's from the perspective of a little girl who's considered a German, but whose mother is a communist (who were also segregated against in Germany at the time), whose foster father is a "jew lover" and who's best friend is a jew hiding in her foster parents basement. The narrator is "death" and describes how horrifying that time in our history was for the people living in Germany and the surrounding areas. I liked how it described the fact that the jews weren't the only people starving, struggling and being killed during that time. The German people also suffered quite a bit.

Great characters, great writing... a little long for my taste, but worth it.

View all my reviews

March 29, 2012 - The Birth Of Our Sweet Angel

On March 29, 2012 our little angel, SJ, was born. He is such a blessing!







Ever since SJ was born, there have been two robins trying to get into our house. They bang into our backyard door all day long and stare at us. According to this website http://​www.whats-your-sign.com/​animal-symbolism-robin.html, Robins represent new beginnings, clarity, great wisdom, etc. Very interesting!

SJ has a little indian blood in him (Shoshone Bannock tribe), so maybe the Robin's are welcoming a new member of the tribe to this world.

39 Weeks of Pregnancy...

I saw this cute idea on Pinterest and decided it would be a good way to document the memories of pregnancy throughout the 40 weeks. I took a picture every couple of weeks to show the progression. I can't wait for little S.J. He will be here any minute!!! : )

My Husband, The Carpenter & The Baby Nursery.

Every pregnancy book you read has a section about "nesting". Whether it's the mother fervently cleaning, organizing, or throwing things away... or it's the father doing the same - Scott and I have had a serious case of it. We completely remodeled two of the rooms in our house within one month, and Scott, with his amazing finish carpentry skills - did an amazing job!

Here are some pics of our old guest room turned into a nursery for our sweet new little one:









I feel so grateful to have such an amazingly talented and loving husband. He worked so hard on the nursery and we are both grateful to the universe that we have such a wonderful place for our new little one to feel at home.

Emily Ann Faulkner Jones - My Sweet Sister.

I just wanted to take some time to write about someone that inspires me on a day-to-day basis and someone who has shaped a lot of who I am and who I strive to be.

My sister Emily has been one of the people in my life that’s inspired me most. She’s always been there for me since I was a wee little lad and I’ve always looked up to her and wanted to be just like her.

Sure, there were times when she would torment me (because that’s what sister’s do) – but how can you no forgive someone who makes you suck your toe when you are two (it’s funny!) or who wouldn’t let you hang out with their teenage friends when you were eight?

My sister has had a lot of patience with me throughout the years. I always looked up to her, wanted to be just like her… wear her clothes, her makeup/jewelry, read her journal, etc. etc. I guess that’s why she gave me the name “Jess the Pest” for a while : ) but as we’ve grown older – we’ve developed a friendship and relationship that means more to me than most in this world.

She is one of the most giving, kind-hearted individuals I’ve ever known and she’s always taken the time to help mentor me to be a better person. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said “What would Emily do?” throughout my lifetime.

Throughout the years she’s inspired me to be a better wife, cook, scrap-booker, sibling, photographer, organizer, giver, worker, leader, mentor, multi-tasker, etc. – the ultimate woman in 2012 society requires a lot of balance… and she’s helped me to find this balance throughout the years.

As of late, Em has inspired me to be a mother… one of the biggest decisions of my life. But, watching Emily as a mother over the past four years has been so enlightening, inspiring and most of all CONTAGIOUS. She makes it look so fun and her children have lit up my life in ways nothing else can.

I wonder sometimes where I’d be without such a strong older sister to guide me through the ups and downs of life. In a world where sisters often annoy each other, compete, and backbite – I feel lucky to have a sister with whom I have a close loving relationship and with whom I have so much in common.

A sister is a gift to the heart, a friend to the spirit, a golden thread to the meaning of life. ~Isadora James

Anchors or Motors? Your choice : )

I’ve been lucky to have a lot of friends in this lifetime. Some of my friendships have remained intact throughout my lifetime, some have fallen by the way-side, and some are more casual friendships where we only chat a couple of times a year. With the new year coming, it’s got me to thinking about all the friendships and relationships that I’ve had in my life. I truly do value all of the friendships and relationships that I’ve had because they’ve all taught me something new about people, life, love, etc. etc. The new year also got me thinking about those relationships that have fallen by the way-side and why that’s happened.

There’s a quote that I have posted on my computer monitor at work -

"There are two types of people--anchors and motors. You want to lose the anchors and get with the motors because the motors are going somewhere and they're having more fun. The anchors will just drag you down." ~ Wyland Quotes

and as much as I’d say I like to live by it… it truly is hard to let go of those anchors, energy vampires or toxic relationships in your life. Everyone has encountered a toxic person in their life – whether it’s a friend, co-worker, or family member that can’t ever stand to say a positive thing about life, that is always taking advantage of others, or is generally abusive to themselves or others over and over again… everyone knows that person and wonders if they will change. I’ve always been the type of person to hope for change, but the reality is…. Some people just won’t change. If they do – great for them! But how long can we all wait around for that to happen?

“Better to lose the anchor than the whole ship.” ~ Dutch Proverb

The older I get, the more I start prioritizing where to give out my energy… I think of my mental, physical, spiritual and emotional self as a ship as the quote mentions above. Many of the times that I have felt the most down in life are because of anchors in my life (whether it’s a person or a negative thought) and the older I get, the more I realize that I have no choice… I HAVE to let these things go out of my life…especially now that I am bringing a new little baby into this world.

It’s funny how the world works too, because just in time for the new year, my forecast on astro.com sent me the following message about reevaluating my relationships…

“This influence signifies a time of severe testing in your relationships with others. The demands of your life will force you to reevaluate which relationships in your life are worth keeping and which are not. If you do not face this challenge consciously, the pressure of events will force you to do so, because people who have been with you for a long time will leave against your wishes. This may represent a temporary state of affairs or a passing mood. Or it may represent a serious breakdown in your relationships because of misplaced priorities in the past or because of associating with people who were wrong for you in terms of your personal goals and needs. The problem is that in terms of your direction in life, the people you associate with are a distraction or are actually opposed to your interests. In this case, no matter how much you love them, walls will form between you and them, and you will have to begin a new life without them. With this influence several significant relationships will inevitably end. But if you have a clear idea of where you are going, this will not be a great disadvantage. Whatever remorse you feel will be quickly displaced by a new sense of freedom, because you are no longer wasting energy in trying to maintain inappropriate relationships.”

Very interesting – eh?

Whether you decide to get rid of the anchors and stick with the motors in 2012, or not, I hope you have an amazing new year and hope that I can be a positive “motor” in your life in 2012. Love to you all!

This blogpost was inspired by this great blog http://montyrainey.wordpress.com/2011/12/12/anchors-away/ – thank goodness for good bloggers!

Things I have learned while being pregnant (so far).

1) No one knows what causes autism… we can all speculate, but there's no clear answer.
2) What To Expect When Your Expecting says that if you are going to get a flu shot, you should try to get a Thiomersal-free flu shot. No one in the Utah valley even knows what that means (not even doctors), even though it's published in the top selling pregnancy book of all time. If you are looking for the Thiomersal-free vaccine, you can get it at the Nursing Station that is across the street and north of St. Marks Hospital.
3) Don't hesitate to ask your doctor a million questions. When in doubt, don't be ashamed to ask. That's what you are paying them for and wouldn't you rather get the questions off your chest so you aren't worrying about them?
4) Coconut Milk is good for pregnant women to drink. Here are all the reasons it's good for you : ) http://www.terawarner.com/blog/2008/05/pregnant-women-go-nuts%E2%80%A6%E2%80%A6for-coconuts/
5) Certain teas you drink can cause you to go into pre-term labor. Even if it's herbal, make sure to check the herbs within the tea to make sure it won't cause you to go into labor to early.
7) Ginger Chews (you can get them at Whole Foods) are the only thing that made me feel better when I was nauseous during the first three months. My dear friend Jaymee got me some and they made me feel a lot better. They didn't completely cure the nausea, but helped more than anything else (ginger tea didn't help and neither did ginger ale).
7) Massage is okay, just make sure to get a pre-natal massage so you can have a custom pillow for your belly and so they don't press any pressure points that might trigger pre-term labor.
8) Yoga and exercise is okay as long as your doctor says it's okay. I've really enjoyed going to pre-natal yoga. It's not easy, but it helps stretch out my hips, lower back, shoulders, etc. so that I am not in so much pain throughout the week. It's really nice to be able to breath and take a moment for myself in the middle of the week as well. I am sure the baby appreciates it. The yoga instructor I go to makes us do a lot of challenging poses and squats to prepare for child birth as well... she always says "I can guarantee, labor is going to be a lot harder than sitting in this pose for five minutes..." - Definitely helps me get in the right mind-set for labor.
9) Every single person's pregnancy is different. Even if you are related. My sister and I have had a lot of different side affects. For example, spotting is normal and dark spotting after about a month of trying to get pregnant means you are probably pregnant. My mom told me this and I was completely clueless... Also - mild spotting is okay throughout the whole pregnancy, but if it gets heavier you should call your doctor.
10) Build a network. Find people who are pregnant or have been pregnant and ask them questions about what they've done during pregnancy. It will bring you closer and you won't be so lost about the process.

And lastly - have a laugh and don't take life to seriously... pregnancy is definitely hard (and according to this article - so is parenting), but it never hurts to have a sense of humor about it - http://www.codinghorror.com/blog/2011/10/on-parenthood.html

So far pregnancy has been challenging but fun. Only three more months to go before I meet the little man. : )

Mentoring 101

It’s funny how the universe sends you just what you need right when you ask for it – I mean, let’s be honest – the universe isn’t going to send you EVERYTHING you want, whenever you want it – but in general, I think that if you send the universe positivity and ask for what you want – it will send it right back at you in one form or another.

I’ve been feeling a lack of a challenge as of late and have needed to figure out something new that would bring some excitement to my world – Yes, I am aware that I am bringing a new life into the world in March or April of next year and that will be plenty of a challenge – but life is short – so why not find something new to experience in the mean time?

Westminster College, where I went to school, reached out to me about a month ago giving me an “alumni calling”. They asked if I would be willing to mentor an undergraduate student at Westminster for a couple of semesters. Not only was I flattered, but surprised that my qualifications made me eligible to be a mentor. I’ve always been interested in mentoring and really enjoyed mentoring the students I teached and managed at the Westminster Newspaper when I was editor-and-chief, but I haven’t had much of a chance to mentor as much as I’d like to the past couple of years.

I was nervous about our first meeting, because let’s face it – I am still young and wanted to be able to offer this person something great and memorable from this experience… so I started brainstorming what I wanted to give and get from this mentoring experience. I thought about all of the great mentors that I have had in my life – from teachers, to co-workers, to friends and family members.

One person in particular always sticks out for me when I think of a good mentor – Kevin McCallum. I worked for him when I first got into marketing at 1-800 CONTACTS. I’ve spoken a lot about Kevin in my blogs in the past, but it’s because I’ve never had a comparable mentor. I valued SO many things about him. He was unselfish – he always wanted those who worked for him to learn something new, to be pushed out of their comfort zone, to feel encouraged and supported beyond belief to do and achieve anything they dreamed about. There was never a dream that wasn’t achievable with him. He delegated challenging projects and opportunities to those who didn’t necessarily have the qualifications, but had trust that they could achieve and learn from the experience. No one wanted to disappoint him because everyone loved him and felt his positivity exude throughout our department – so everyone over-achieved and we met our goals without a problem. Also – he was extremely confident and well respected in the company and in the marketing world so he had a lot to offer and everyone learned something new every time they had a conversation with him. I think a lot of the reason he was so respected in the marketing community is that he hired people who were very qualified in various fields of marketing – and let them learn and grow through various projects and challenges and he learned from them. He didn’t assume he knew everything – he constantly felt he could learn something new from any individual he came in contact with.

I could go on and on about Kevin and how much of a positive impact he’s made on my life… but now it was my turn to be a good mentor… and what does that mean?

Looking back on what I learned from Kevin, I knew a few things right off the bat –
1) I don’t know everything about marketing, but I can help this person understand what I do know and learn from them as well. (Help the person I am mentoring learn something new – not only about work, but life.)
2) I can be a positive role model and share my passion for what I do and how I feel about life.
3) I can help with goal setting, and accountability.
4) I can motivate this individual to achieve what they’d like to achieve.
5) I can teach “the power of networking”.
6) I can work towards getting this person promoted in life and in work.
7) I can help this person focus on their accomplishments and strengths.
8) I can teach this person to behave like an owner and help them focus on mastering their projects, and delivering on what they promise.
9) I can teach this person to have an opinion and share that opinion.
10) I can teach this person the importance of accuracy and thoroughness.

How I started this process was by asking a few questions:
1) What are your goals in this mentoring process? What do you want to learn (please give me at least 10)?
2) Have you faced any problems in your work or school environments that you'd like to work through?
3) What are your strengths (please give me at least 5)?
4) What are your favorite successes in life thus far (please give me at least 5)?

I am really looking forward to learning from this experience.

"A mentor is someone who sees more talent and ability within you, than you see in yourself, and helps bring it out of you."

Bob Proctor
Author, Speaker and Success Coach

A story that totally made my day - great for the holiday season.

This was written by a Metro Denver Hospice Physician:

I was driving home from a meeting this evening about 5, stuck in traffic on Colorado Blvd., and the car started to choke and splutter and die - I barely managed to coast , cursing, into a gas station, glad only that I would not be blocking traffic and would have a somewhat warm spot to wait for the tow truck. It wouldn't even turn over. Before I could make the call, I saw a woman walking out of the quickie mart building, and it looked like she slipped on some ice and fell into a gas pump, so I got out to see if she was okay. When I got there, it looked more like she had been overcome by sobs than that she had fallen; she was a young woman who looked really haggard with dark circles under her eyes. She dropped something as I helped her up, and I picked it up to give it to her. It was a nickel.

At that moment, everything came into focus for me: the crying woman, the ancient Suburban crammed full of stuff with 3 kids in the back (1 in a car seat), and the gas pump reading $4.95.

I asked her if she was okay and if she needed help, and she just kept saying 'I don't want my kids to see me crying! ,' so we stood on the other side of the pump from her car. She said she was driving to California and that things were very hard for her right now. So I asked, 'And you were praying?' That made her back away from me a little, but I assured her I was not a crazy person and said, 'He heard you, and He sent me.'

I took out my card and swiped it through the card reader on the pump so she could fill up her car completely, and while it was fueling, walked to the next door McDonald's and bought 2 big bags of food, some gift certificates for more, and a big cup of coffee. She gave the food to the kids in the car, who attacked it like wolves, and we stood by the pump eating fries and talking a little.

She told me her name, and that she lived in Kansas City . Her boyfriend left 2 months ago and she had not been able to make ends meet. She knew she wouldn't have money to pay rent Jan. 1, and finally, in desperation, had called her parents, with whom she had not spok en in about 5 years. They lived in California and said she could come live with them and try to get on her feet there.

So she packed up everything she owned in the car. She told the kids they were going to California for Christmas, but not that they were going to live there.
I gave her my gloves, a little hug and said a quick prayer with her for safety on the road. As I was walking over to my car, she said, 'So, are you like an angel or something?'

This definitely made me cry. I said, 'Sweetie, at this time of year angels are really busy, so sometimes God uses regular people.'

It was so incredible to be a part of someone else's miracle. And of course, you guessed it, when I got in my car it started right away and got me home with no problem. I'll put it in the shop tomorrow to check, but I suspect the mechanic won't find anything wrong.

Sometimes the angels fly close enough to you that you can hear the flutter of their wings....

Psalms 55:22 ' Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee. He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved'

'Father, I ask You to bless my children, grandchildren, friends, relatives and email buddies reading this right now. Show them a new revelation of your love and power. Holy Spirit, I ask You to minister to their spirit this very moment. Where there is pain, give them Your peace and mercy. Where there is self doubt, release a renewed confidence through Your grace, In Jesus' precious name. Amen.'

'Friends are God's way of taking care of us.' Psalm 55:22 ---

"Drive" and "Leadership Lessons From Burning Man".

Wow – this is a great article... I bought the book "Drive" because of this article. Looks interesting.

http://www.fastcompany.com/1775687/leadership-lessons-from-burning-man

Leadership Lessons From Burning Man
BY E.B. Boyd
Thu Aug 25, 2011

Think the annual arts fest in the Nevada desert is nothing more than a week-long bacchanal? Think again. It's a a master class in how to create awesomeness.



It’s easy to dismiss Burning Man as nothing more than a bizarre hippie love-fest that takes place deep in the Nevada desert every year the week before Labor Day. But doing so misses the fact that it’s an amazingly successful enterprise--and, as such, has a thing or two to teach about how to inspire creative people and create a great product.

Since it first began 25 years ago, Burning Man has grown larger every year (if you ignore the slight dip in recession-scarred 2009). It’s grown so much that this year, for the first time ever, the organization had to cut off ticket sales early, for fear of finally hitting the 50,000-person limit authorized by its federal land-use permit. And those tickets aren’t cheap either--they now cost an average of $300 a pop.

Granted, Burning Man's overall intention is not to create a "product," per se. (Not one for trite labels, it calls itself an "experiment in community.") But its growth numbers--in terms of customers and revenue--are ones any business could envy. So how does Burning Man do it?



It starts with culture

One of the first things to understand is that Burning Man isn’t actually just a festival. In many ways--in keeping with its mission--it’s actually more of a town. In fact, it's the 11th largest in Nevada during the one week of its existence. The horseshoe that makes up "Black Rock City" (named for Black Rock Desert) gets delineated into "blocks" and "neighborhoods" where attendees (dubbed "participants") set up their camps--often elaborate compounds complete with sitting areas and play areas in addition to tents, yurts, and RVs. The "town" even has its own post office (send a letter and it will reach its destination, complete with a "Black Rock City" cancellation mark), as well as an airport.

As a result, many of the people who choose to go to Burning Man do so not just for the revelries and the festivities but simply because it’s a place they like to visit, like the Eastern seaboard, the Gulf Coast, Las Vegas, or the Poconos.

And they like to visit it because of the overall atmosphere. It’s one of the friendliest towns you will ever come across. Most camps have an open-door policy. You’re welcome to stop in at any abode. Most people are also inordinately helpful. Other Burners will happily help you set up your camp or install your art piece. And it’s amazingly safe for a town of 50,000, many of whom are partying for seven days straight. If you’re a woman, you can walk home at 3 in the morning with little fear of harassment. Brawls are basically unheard of.

So how does Burning Man produce this culture? It’s a mix of top-down instruction and horizontal transmission. The organization itself produces a Survival Guide that spells out the ethos of the place and the guidelines that make it work. And the organizers, in all their communications, consistently reinforce the event’s ethos. But truthfully, the most powerful part of the cultural transmission happens from person to person.

The group I joined when I first started going consisted of some guys who had belonged to one of the hardest-partying clubs in college. And yet these same guys were the ones who diligently instructed me on the importance of--and firmly held me accountable for--picking up and packing out every piece of trash larger than a sequin so that, after all Burners went home, the desert would be as pristine as it was before we all showed up.

How does this happen? Ultimately it comes down to the fact that Burning Man does a phenomenal job at communicating how the culture contributes to the overall experience. And since participants value the overall experience, they work hard to adhere to the cultural principles. And equally hard to pass those principles on to newcomers.

Add a dose of trust and positive reinforcement

The other key component of how culture gets transmitted is through positive reinforcement, which itself is often bathed in a dollop of humor. There are no forbidding or bureaucratic signs at Burning Man telling you what you can and cannot do. Instead, where needed, signs are erected to remind attendees of things they might not know or might forget--but those signs are generally friendly and playful, like this one (right) reminding people not to bring their bikes (the main form of transportation) into a communal tent.

Organizers also imbue a huge amount of trust in the community. Volunteer Burning Man Rangers do patrol the town, but they’re there more to be of help than to lay down the law. Mostly, the organization communicates an attitude to the Burners that it trusts them to adhere to the communal rules and help propagate them.

All of which comes down to a fundamental principle of human nature: People want to be inspired, not lectured. They tend to respond better to humor and gentle reminders than they do to dictates or presumptions of guilt before innocence.

Motivate with autonomy

Unlike many festivals, Burning Man itself provides nothing more than the overall infrastructure—the city grid, the port-a-potties, the Rangers and other volunteers who keep the town running. But everything else is provided by the participants--the massive techno dance clubs, the yoga classes, the works of art, the merry little vehicles sailing across the desert, the makeshift restaurants, the seminars on technology and sustainability, the circuses, the chill spaces. Burning Man creates none of it. It all comes from the participants.

And the things the participants provide, which vary from year to year, are endlessly delighting and mind-blowing. A party bus outfitted to look like a giant rubber ducky. A “Mant Farm,” a three-story high human version of the old ant farms. A go-kart retrofitted to look like a fighter jet. A vaudeville performance. A violin solo deep out on the Playa. A lounge-like oasis on the edge of the desert right where you'd need a break. A fire garden. A seminar on lucid dreaming. A bulletin board where people are encouraged to leave jokes (sample: “I saw a wino eating grapes. I was like, 'Dude, you have to wait a while.'"). A pirate bar where the occasional ninja shows up to wreak havoc (per the Internet meme). Even the 40-foot, eight ton rocket ship that has since taken up residence on San Francisco’s Embarcadero. You can spend seven days on the Playa and still not see all the marvels and wonders participants bring to the place.

So how does Burning Man get people to create such marvels? Not by command and control. The organization simply sets a few guidelines, mainly for safety purposes, and then gives attendees permission to let their imaginations run wild.

Not everything is a hit, of course. Every year there are any number of installations, performances, and activities that just don’t seem to hit the mark. But there are many more that overshoot it far more than if Burning Man had given specific instructions about what it wanted created.

This is a secret that organizations that successfully harness the imaginations of their creative people have long known: You can’t order creativity. You can only create the conditions for it to blossom--mainly by setting certain prescribed boundaries and then giving your creative people a great deal of autonomy to execute as they see fit.

Reward people with appreciation, rather than money

Burning Man has a "no money" policy. Everything participants bring must be shared with other participants for free. (For an explanation of why, see "Decommodification" under the organization’s Ten Principles.)

So whether you just bring a set of hula hoops for people to play with, or a massive dance club costing tens of thousands of dollars to set up and run, you have to shell out all the money (and sweat equity) yourself, with no hope of ever recouping a dime for your troubles. Why would anyone do that, you might ask. The answer lies largely in Daniel Pink’s latest book Drive, which examines the science of human motivation (and how businesses often get it wrong).

Pink explains that you can’t motivate creative people with money. Certainly, you have to pay them enough to live on, he says, and pay them comparably to their peers so they feel appropriately valued. But after that, Pink explains, tossing more money at a creative person doesn't produce more creative output.

Instead, Pink says, creative people simply want the latitude discussed in the previous section (autonomy), as well as the opportunity to do something really well (mastery) and the opportunity to be part of something greater than themselves (purpose). And that’s what Burning Man provides.

No matter how whacky the thing bouncing around in your head (a party bus shaped like a duck, whowouldathought?), it will find a home and appreciation at Burning Man. And, more importantly, you will feel like you are doing your part to contribute to the overall experience. In fact, it's not unusual for newcomers--even those who felt slightly trepidatious about the whole enterprise to begin with--to leave the event toying around with ideas of what they might create to bring back the following year.

Much of the above probably sounds like common sense: Trust people and they will usually live up to that trust. Give people creative freedom, and they will surprise you with what they deliver. And indeed, it is common sense. And yet many organizations nevertheless fall down on one or more of these principles--structuring rules and regulations around a presumption of guilt on the part of employees, rather than treating them as trusted members of a community, or by offering only money rather than latitude in the effort to drum up creativity.

Burning Man, however, is a living example of how, when an organization lives by that sometimes not-so-common common sense, great things ensue.

[Images: Courtesy of E.B. Boyd; front page image by Mike Q. Victor]