Monday, December 14, 2009

Leadership

I am part of a group called " Internet Affiliate Marketers Association (IAMA)" on linkedin.com. A man named Kris de Leon posted something great this morning that I wanted to share with you all. I completely agree that "the three keys you can use [as a leader] to motivate others are optimism, encouragement, and enthusiasm."

Here is what he posted:

The Seven Inherent Steps for Every Leader

1) Connect your passion for success with a common moral good. You must focus on connecting with other people, and create a vision that is rooted in win-win. If you focus on providing others what they need, success will eventually follow. Knowing that your product or service is a win for others creates a deeper and more legitimate passion for you to strive.

2) Become a student of your work and industry, not just a servant to it. This involves acquiring knowledge, developing ideas, and improving your skills. With increased knowledge and skills, you are more valuable to others, which is a necessary trait of a leader.

3) Avoid extreme shifts in mood, focus, and determination when building your foundation. We must be careful not to let our emotions get the better of us. When faced at a low point or stressful situation, we must exercise calm and patience.

4) Learn to endure hardships and inconveniences with a positive spirit. Complaining about a situation will not encourage others to help you. Maintaining that positive spirit will rub off on other people, and they will be more inclined to help you get through the hardships.

5) Improve yourself more than you grow your business. Spend time on personal development, read books, listen to CDs and podcasts, and find successful mentors. If people are attracted to you because of what you achieved in personal development and the value you can offer, they will naturally follow you and eventually follow your business.

6) Foster interaction with others by renewing your faith in the inherent ability to rise to the occasion. Have the belief that people can succeed no matter what. The three keys you can do to motivate others are optimism, encouragement, and enthusiasm.

7) Understand that the greatest avenue of creating success in others is love. Always give more than you take and create a culture of generosity.


_______________
I agree completely.

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween all!

Halloween is Scotty and my favorite holiday and we love dressing up. Scotty was Uncle Sam and I was Rosie the Riveter (We Can Do It!!)

Here's a picture of our costumes this year:


Most of my awesome family came out to celebrate. Here are some cute pictures of the family : )













Scotty's parents:


We had a little party at our house and there was a costume contest. Scott as Uncle Sam won the contest, but because he lives in our house, he was disqualified from winning the prize. Therefore, my friend Danielle won first prize as the Salt Lake Tribune (the Utah newspaper - she made a dress out of it!!) and my brother Jeremy and Shepp (The Matrix Twins) won second prize. What a great night! Thanks for all that came out! Happy Halloween!

The contest winners:

Scotty-bear as Uncle Sam:


Danielle, Salt Lake Tribune Girl:


The Matrix Twins (Jeremy Faulkner and his friend Shepp):

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Creepiest Vintage Ads of All Time? Happy Halloween.

Want to see the creepiest vintage ads of all time to get in the Halloween spirit? Go here:


http://retrocomedy.com/2009/07/01/the-15-creepiest-vintage-ads-of-all-time/


My faves:
1)
Drink that cocoa, or this clown will murder you in your sleep.


2)
“Is it always illegal to kill a woman?” This is a truly important question and makes us want to buy a new postage meter.


3)
It’s enough to make you want to eat Kosher forever.

Thanks for sending Anthony!

Monday, August 31, 2009

Crossing Another One Off The Bucket List

So, I decided to go skydiving because a) I've always wanted to do it [needed to check another item off on the bucket list] and b) we could all die tomorrow so why not?!?! Well, it turned out to be one of the most amazing experiences of my life.

Here is some video:


http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=509168082794&ref=mf

Here are some of my fave pics:















and.... a safe landing... : )


It was one of the best times of my life. Scott wouldn't do it with me, so I went with Jamie and Candice for Candice's 18th birthday. If you are too scared to go - go indoor skydiving in Ogden. It feels pretty much the same without the actual 13,000 foot drop.

Maybe I should take up being a skydiving instructor? It didn't scare me at all and I loved it!!!

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Extremely Accurate Horoscope Today

Diligence
With this influence you have a clear idea of what you are doing and where you are headed. You feel that you know who you are and are therefore confident that you can achieve your objectives. But with this influence also comes a knowledge of and mastery over the necessary material resources and techniques for achieving your ends. You need more than mere self-confidence to achieve anything, as you are well aware. So you will work diligently at whatever task you set yourself today, paying great attention to detail and making thorough use of all the material that will help you accomplish your task. You feel pride in knowing that you have done good work as well as in knowing that you have moved one step closer to your goals. Therefore you will also gain the respect of others today.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

*15 Awesome Books*

15 Books That Will Stick With Me

Rules: Don't take too long to think about it. List 15 books you've read that will always stick with you. They should be the first 15 you can recall in no more than 15 minutes. Tag 15 friends, including me, because I'm interested in seeing what books my friends choose. (To do this, go to your Notes tab on your Profile page, paste rules in a new Note, cast your 15 picks, and tag people in the Note, upper right-hand side.)

(This is not in order of how much I liked the books).

1. Eat. Pray. Love. By Elizabeth Gilbert – Just a very good book. Who wouldn’t want to travel to Italy to eat, India to do yoga, and Bali to find love?
2. The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky. It reminds me of my best friend Jordan Beckstead. Also, it’s different, and I like different. “... And in that moment, I swear we were infinite.”
3. A Million Little Pieces by James Frey – Obviously it sticks with me because of all the controversy it caused, but it’s just a very traumatizing/interesting book too.
4. Conspiracy of Fools by Kurt Eichenwald – Great book about how a few people can ruin the lives of many people by being greedy, arrogant and just plain stupid. It’s the story of Enron.
5. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck. Love the irony, fate, “don’t judge a book by its cover” themes in the book. Sad, but loved it.
6. Life of Pi by Yann Martel – The book claims that it will make you believe in God – and if you already believe, you will believe even more. Interesting eh? “I must say a word about fear. It is life’s only true opponent. Only fear can defeat life. It is a cleaver, treacherous adversary, how well I know. It has no decency, respects no law or convention, shows no mercy.”
7. To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee -- Again, a good “don’t judge a book by it’s cover” theme. I like the thought of standing up for what is right even though it may not be socially acceptable.
8. The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka -- Kafka uses a creative way to describe the pressures of life and how they can turn on any of us at any given time. Not to mention, I had the best English teacher of my life when I read this.
9. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley -- The whole thought of starting over from scratch with a society to make it what you want it to be was interesting. No matter what the strategy, humans are still humans. Humans still have flaws. Society will never be perfect no matter how many times you try to re-structure it.
10. My Sister’s Keeper or Change of Heart by Jodi Picoult -- She asks the hard questions: What would you do if you were a mother and your kid had cancer? Would you have a child just to save the other child? If you use one child’s organs to save another’s, is that right? Are you being selfish? Would you take a death row inmates heart to save your child? What if that death row inmate was innocent but he's still being put to death? Would you fight for him?
11. Good to Great by Jim Collins -- Definitely helped me understand what type of leader I hope to be one day. And helped me gain respect for the only level five leader I’ve ever known – Kevin McCallum. It’s rare to come across them, but the business world wouldn’t function without them.
12. The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell -- This book defines how trends become trends. How these trends hit their boiling points - be it suicide, products, crime rates… and how you can stop the boiling points or continue to make your product “sticky.” It’s easy to read and I always learn something from Gladwell.
13. On The Road by Jack Kerouac -- This book is like a constant poem to me. It made me want to travel and be with friends – love when books do that ☺ “Because the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and the middle you see the blue center light pop and everyone goes “awww!”
14. Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury – Why do I always confuse this book with 1984? I need to re-read both of them so I can differentiate them in my brain. Don’t you think it’s weird that it mentions people being obsessed with watching reality TV (in the future) so they stop reading? The future is now. ☺
15. Choke or Rant by Chuck Palahniuk -- He’s a very raw/dark/creative writer which always makes for good books (and definitely “stick” with you as the theme of this note requests). Most people know him because he’s the author of Fight Club.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

He's Barack Obama

This is absolutely fabulous: He's Barack Obama

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

In the words of Tenacious D, this is a tribute....

What is it about dad's? They just have this way of making you feel like everything is going to be okay (no matter how terrible or traumatizing the situation may be). I've been lucky to have two amazing dad's in my life. Thank you for all you do for me. Xoxo. <3

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Happy mother's day to all you beautiful mothers out there!

We had a great mother's day. I got to hang out with most of my favorite mothers -- Mom, Em, Grandma and Ang (We missed you Jacey!!). Just a great family day in the garden.
































P.S - I have the cutest nephew in the world.





Thursday, May 21, 2009

Scott and I want to get some new family pictures taken....

I found this amazing photographer so Scott and I really want to get some family portraits taken of us and Ike -

Some of my faves:







JUST KIDDING!!! haha I got these photos of a HILARIOUS website:
http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Random Thoughts from Jess on May 9th

Scotty and I scheduled an anniversary trip to Moab. We plan to go to arches, ride bikes on slick rock trail, go canyoneering (which is basically rock climbing through the narrows) and just site seeing. Neither of us has been there and we just wanted to get away, the two of us, to spend some well needed quality time with each other for our anniversary. Any suggestions for where we should go?

Also, Nicole’s (My cousin on my Dad's side) wedding was fun. It was good to see all of my Dad’s brothers and sisters. Aunt Linda is hilarious. I was asking her what sicknesses run in our family and she was like “I have done nothing but do harm to my body and I’m not dead yet so what does that tell you?!” haha. She’s a riot. Brandon (Laura's son) is getting big too… I played guitar hero with B.J. and him for a while which was fun. Brandon can play with his back to the screen (and still get a perfect score)… what is up with that?! Man, kids these days – ... Apparently they have to much time on their hands to play guitar hero?!?!? Uncle Frank was as cute as usual, just so quiet, yet so loving. He’s pretty much the only aunt/uncle I have that will tell me he loves me.

Monday, May 04, 2009

The Passion of Sister Dottie S. Dixon

I saw the BEST play on Saturday in downtown SLC, UT - The Passion of Sister Dottie S. Dixon. Go see it! It runs from May 1 - 17, 2009 at the Rose Wagner Theater and is only $20.

I think this is a play everyone should see. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll come to awesome realizations about judgment, love and religion.

http://www.sisterdottie.com/

Here's the synopsis on the website:

Sister Dottie: Fearless and Funny
By Michael N. Westley

The Passion of Sister Dottie S. Dixon gives a bold, humorous and poignant look into the mind and heart of a mother with a gay son.

The fact that Sister Dottie just happens to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints works as the perfect vehicle to drive a slew of irreverent and ever-sa-true jokes about the culture and situation fate has given Dottie.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Great music, great videos, great life!!

2009 has been awesome so far. I've already completed three goals that I set out for myself to accomplish!

1) I've been to a place I've never traveled before (Hawaii!)






2) Confidential, but I can tell you if you really wanna know : )

3) I finished the SLC half marathon (13.1 miles). Life is good.







Here are some great videos/music. This is one of my favorite artists, Metric:



Sunday, April 12, 2009

My life as an art piece. ♥

Click on the image to make it bigger.

Directions:
- go to google image search.
- type in your answer to each of the following questions.
- choose a picture from the first three pages of results.
- use this website (http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/mosaic.php) to make your collage.
- save the image.
- post.

Questions:
1. what is your name?
2. what is your favorite food?
3. what is your hometown?
4. what is your favorite color?
5. what is your favorite movie?
6. what is your favorite drink?
7. what is your dream vacation?
8. what is your favorite dessert?
9. what is a term you often use to describe yourself?
10. how are you feeling right now?
11. what is one of the things you love most in the world?
12. what do you want to be when you grow up?


Let me know if you do this cuz I'd love to see your collage.

Good story, not sure who wrote it, but awesome.

Long one, but worth it…

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, 'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd. I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.

As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him.. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, 'Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives. He looked at me and said, 'Hey thanks!'

There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books.

He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said “yes.” We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him. Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, 'Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday?! He just laughed and handed me half the books.

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak.

On graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous! Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, 'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!' He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. 'Thanks,' he said.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began. 'Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends..... I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story.' I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.

Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable. I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth. Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse.

God puts us all in each others lives to impact one another in some way. Look for God in others.

Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly. There is no beginning or end. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Mom's birthday. : ) I love you mom.

My Mother… By Jessica Faulkner Chase – March 4, 2009

My mother...
Light,
Love,
Energy,
Positivity,
Strength,
Faith.

My mother...
The Zen,
Shaman,
Mormon,
Christian,
Wiccan,
Mystic.

My mother...
The star.
The sun.
The ascendant.
In alignment.
The Pisces
accepts all energy
Earth
Air
Fire
Water
That cup is half full
The moon is full
Aquarius moon.
Sagittarius rising.

My mother...
Gave me
Fate in my fingers
And hands.
Life line
Head line
Heart line
Unite for
Perfection of
Individuality

My mother...
Gave me
The power of animals
Those that rule
North
West
South
East
Dolphins, Swans,
Killer Whales
Butterflies
My protection.

My mother's water
Calming my wind
Stirring my spirit
Stimulating mind
Imagination.
Helping me sing
Helping me laugh
Helping me reach for the crossed stars
Teaching me respect
For all things.
Loving me.

My mother...
Lights
Up
My
Life.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Tagged!

Hey all,

My Aunt Bonnie has a cool project - now I am passing it on to you. Go to your my pictures/my doc file and find the sixth picture. Blog about it and tag six people.

My picture:


This is the most beautiful cathedral in Prague - St. Vitus Cathedral. After studying art history for years, I was able see this Gothic Cathedral in person. So amazingly beautiful *as everything was in Prague*. For more details about my Prague trip - I wrote a post about it last May : ) scroll down below. XOXO.

Tagged: Sara, Dad, Jeremy Faulkner, Emily Faulkner, Nate Faulkner, Mom

Friday, February 06, 2009

Love my horoscope today : )

Meaningful encounter ***
Valid during many months: This influence can bring with it a deeply satisfying, liberating experience; perhaps you will simply enjoy yourself with more gusto and freedom than usual and take pleasure in life. In any case this quality of time is beneficial, whether profoundly at the psychological level, or pleasurable, exhilarating and short-lived in the external world.

There may be a very meaningful encounter during this time - with your partner, someone close to you, or someone whom you have never met before. This encounter will be so deep and personal that you will have the opportunity to perceive and possibly even discuss things about yourself that you have preferred to suppress up to now, and not reveal to anyone. These things are discernible again and again, whether we care to believe it or not, especially in close, intimate relationships. They hinder our natural expression of ourselves, our being in harmony with our own bodies and other's; they make us unsure of ourselves, and cause us to anxiously avoid certain situations.

The present quality of time allows you to deal with these earlier experiences. A deep personal encounter, bringing understanding and sympathy with it, gives you the chance to behave differently and, for once, to act out of character. With such an encounter now, you can acknowledge and reveal your injury or sensitivity, without being hurt or rejected once more. This calls for great courage, as in just such a situation the old fears are resurrected and certain, well-practiced defense mechanisms come into play. That is why it is important that you allow this encounter to take place, and are able to commit yourself with all your nakedness and injury. Then you will have a deeply satisfying, healing experience that will show that you too, with your weaknesses and sensitivities, are desirable and worthy of love.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

This is long, but it's a MUST read. When No News Is Bad News.

http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200901u/fate-of-newspaper-journalism/2

When No News Is Bad News


Best Snipits -


Newspaper penetration—the number of households looking at a paper—now amounts to less than 18 percent of the population, compared with 33 percent back in 1946. In its home market, The New York Times has a dismal 7 percent penetration. The New York Times Company, which, like the rest of the industry, used to reap tremendous profits, is one of the many publicly traded newspaper companies that have lost well over half their market value in the past two years.

Just this past year, shareholders of publicly traded newspaper companies have lost 83 percent of their investments, according to Alan Mutter, an astute industry analyst, blogger and former newspaper city editor. Papers are throwing out employees almost weekly, cutting national and foreign bureaus if they have them, and slicing the actual size of the product, since newsprint is a huge cost.

Meanwhile, websites are not obligated to spend money on newsprint, printing plants, or union drivers to drop their product at readers’ doorsteps. Yet they benefit from linking to all that work they’ve not done or paid a nickel for. And they supplement this borrowed reporting with user-generated content and material produced by freelancers who are paid a pittance or nothing at all. They’ve also opted for chat rooms and ongoing dialogues among their adherents—a laudable, democratic impulse, but one that often devolves into an unedited legitimization of stupidity and bigotry.

Why should we care?
This matters because of the unique role journalism plays in a democracy. So much public information and official government knowledge depends on a private business model that is now failing. Journalism acknowledges and illuminates complexity, and at the same time prioritizes, helping us to evaluate the relative significance of developments playing out all around us. A very shrewd journalist-entrepreneur I know, Steve Brill, asks that one just imagine walking into a library and seeing the pages of all the books scattered on the floors and stairwells. To be sure, editors are human and subjectivity plays a role, but a newspaper places those pages—and thus the news—in some sensible order.

And, importantly, there’s a sense of social mission. Good journalism keeps public and private officials honest and helps citizens make thoughtful decisions. It does this by systematically gathering, processing, and checking relevant information, and by doing it with a spirit of independence. It’s how two previously unknown Washington Post reporters, Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein, put together the Watergate puzzle that forced the 1974 resignation of President Richard Nixon. And as they pursued their investigation, they, like all good reporters, followed certain commonly accepted ethical norms: You don’t take money from the people you’re covering. You don’t bow to special interests or to the economic interests of your employer. You confirm and reconfirm the accuracy of assertions and supposed facts and quotes. As an old saying used to go at the City News Bureau of Chicago, a now-defunct training ground for decades of reporters, “If your mother tells you she loves you, check it out.”

In 2005, David Jackson reported on the growing problem of home mortgage fraud in Chicago’s poorest communities. His piece, which shed light on loopholes in the system that gave birth to the sub-prime mortgage debacle, warned that the problem “now threatens to become a national financial epidemic.” If only more people, including regulators, had paid attention.

And last year, prior to a wholesale change in the newsroom’s hierarchy and my exit, The Tribune won the Pulitzer Prize for its investigative reporting on product safety hazards for children, including lead-painted toys from China, and a dangerously flawed type of baby crib. The reporters’ painstaking research and the expensive testing they commissioned by independent labs resulted in major product recalls and changes in manufacturing policy. Lives were surely saved.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Coolest music video ever!



And... I love this song.

Don't buy stuff you CANNOT afford. Hilarious.

FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.' After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?' 'It was Bob the next door neighbor,' she replies. 'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.' Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.' 'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Puff! She's gone. 'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.' Puff! He's gone. 'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?' The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.' So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.' 'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.' The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..

Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

WHAT'S worse than dreaming about going to work naked?

WHAT'S worse than dreaming about going to work naked? Losing your pants on a ski lift and having the photos carried on news websites. What a way to lose your job!





It’s the pic with endless punchlines, but really WTF? We went to the trouble of checking our inbox and here’s what the photographer Marty Odom had to say:


http://snowboarding.transworld.net/2009/01/06/the-story-behind-the-vail-chairlift-photo/

“Hello, my name is Marty Odom and I live in Vail, Colorado. I am/was a photographer on the mountain for Sharpshooter imaging. On my day off I pulled up to the lift line to see a naked man hanging from the chair lift. I happen to have my own camera with me and I shot a few pics. It was Jan. 1st and I shot the best photo that I’m going to shoot all year. I then sent it in to the Vail Daily, where it got printed the next day. Today I go into work to find out that I’m “suspended until further notice”, because the man is now suing Vail mountain and my photo makes their lift operations seem bad. The liftie forgot to put the seat down on the chair and somehow the man got stuck in the position that he was in. The chair wasn’t even stopped by the liftie, someone in the lift line had to punch the button. And even though I never mentioned the company I worked for, Vail Resorts pulled my pass and it looks like I’m going to lose my job over a photo. But the photo is worth it.

“The reason for all my ranting is that I hope you guys might enjoy this photo a whole lot. And if there is any kind of contest for “super gaper” or something that maybe I could submit it. And I thought u guys might enjoy the story behind it, the fact that it was enough to lose my job over.”

What a way to start the new year. Thanks to Marty for sending the pic our way. It’s safe to say that this would never have happened on a snowboard. Let the clever comments begin …


Tags: Vail Chairlift


LOL!


Favorite quotes at the bottom:

1) "That looks like a wang-danglin’ good time."

3) "What’s so funny? That’s how I take the lift everytime"

Wuahahahaha